Lindsay’s story, Living Beyond the Wreckage
By Amy Watson
I remember the first time I heard about the night the black ice in Indiana changed everything for her. I was at a Christmas party when I met her and while there was then and is now a special light in her eyes, it was obvious to me that she had been through some suffering. As part of the trauma tribe, we know our people.
Her story starts on a dark night in 2001. That day was as you would expect it to be in the middle of the winter in Indiana, and the midwest native was in charge of three children who sat in the back seat of her car. They were merely running an errand and getting ready for an important church event the next day. When her car hit a patch of black ice, it spun around 45 degrees stopping only when a utility pole demonstrated the laws of physics. The driver’s side hit first and her glasses were thrown into a snowbank, making her already blurry vision even more so. Life would remain and probably still does remain a version of blurry as such trauma leaves it’s marks, and as you will hear, the body truly keeps the score.
She describes her life to me as “before and after that day” as a literal line drawn in the timeline of her life. Like most trauma, she remembers.
I remember smelling fire.
I remember screaming and yelling.
I remember holding him in my arms.
I remember hearing my dad’s voice.
I remember the ambulance ride and calling Brian, my youth pastor, from the ambulance.
I remember seeing my mom as I was wheeled into the hospital.
I remember all of the blood, and could barely see without my glasses, but the stitches in my face, I remember them. No one cleaned me up, no one washed my face…
I remember feeling scared, alone and helpless.
I remember when Brian, youth pastor at the time telling me that the little boy had died. I remember how he and my parents and I think my brother all triangulated around me, as if to catch me when I crumbled.
I remember wearing the Columbia fleece I had on in the accident for 2 days after.
I remember not being welcomed to attend the funeral.
I remember the sadness of the brokeness of that relationship.
I remember being asked not to attend the only grief group in the area because his parents and siblings also attended there. I remember feeling less important, like my pain didn’t matter.
I remember I visited his gravesite at least once a week
I remember court cases and chaos for 3 years after I moved to Florida – finally ending in 2007
I remember convincing people I was moving to Florida to help my parents…
Lindsay and I recorded this episode “Living Beyond The Wreckage” on December 27, 2020. I was super nervous about sharing her story as the podcast is the first place she told her story publicly. I was nervous about triggering her, and I was nervous that we would both cry. She was not triggered but we both cried. At the very end of the podcast, she pointed out to me that she was wearing the beanie that she wore on that day that changed her forever.
After The Interview:
On a whim, I shared the podcast with an organization called CADI (Cause Of Accidental Death or Injury). When I did that, the founder of that organization reached out to Lindsay and she is now part of their support group and told me “I thought it was only me, I can’t believe the amount of people that have been through this, I am healing.”
What Happened Next?
We don’t know what kind of reach Lindsay’s story has already had or will have, but the reality is her healing made this episode worth all the work, all the tears, all the promotion, all of the things–more than worth it. It will be fun to watch Lindsay continue to heal. I told her we would have her on update episode, that will be fun to hear towards the end of the season.
Her scripture resonates with us all, that is original artwork by Hollis Orr.
Her story is heartbreaking, but her Hope is unexplainable, and isn’t that the best kind of Hope?
Executive Producer: Amy Highland
Main Editor: Crissy Loughridge
Original Logo: Anna Roberts
Podcast cover: Brittany Knight
Healer of all things: Jesus