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Hey everyone, and welcome to the very last episode of 2021. I wanted to take this time to look back at a year, I have been amazed at what the Lord has done not only through this podcast, but in my life in general.
And knew when I started this podcast that the podcast would grow, and that it would evolve. And part of me knew that I would do the same. Sometimes I listened to that first episode. In the very, very first season season one episode one healing that doesn’t make sense. And that person is absolutely unrecognizable to me. We hit some cool milestones this year, we published our 50th episode, and also achieved an important milestone with episode downloads. We were able to provide double digit pro bono counseling sessions for those who can’t afford it. Later in the year, as of like December of 2021, we suddenly turned into a listener slash donor supported podcast. as of the recording of this podcast, we are this episode we are running a fundraiser on Facebook as well as Patreon. We only have three months three months short of support for all of the production costs for 2022. That means that all donations and merchandise moving forward will fund more pro bono counseling. As well as merchandise sales, we’ll do the same.
I will provide all of the ways you can help in the show notes including the last offering of the you are merchandise as we will be releasing new merchandise next year. So right there in your app, click on that one of those links that contact me will take you to all of them, including the Facebook fundraiser that will end on January 31. And you will be able to join our mission. So guys, what happened? And 2021
Shall we take a short trip down memory lane?
We started the year with Crissy Loughridge
In an episode that we entitled
shattering safety. Let’s listen to this clip.
She sat on the end where she could put her drink down to play the game. And hindsight I remember that he slipped behind her. And then beside her as he as he continued to chat. I was talking to the other dude, I was watching her beat me in the game, but I didn’t care. We were having fun. It seemed like the birthday celebration was going off without a hitch until I looked over.
At her blank guys. The guys disappeared and I knew something was horribly wrong.
That horribly wrong thing that we talked about still affects Crissy to this day. That episode highlighted the definition of PTSD. Her safety had been compromised in ways that she never saw coming. But just like all of the episodes on the Wednesdays with Watson podcast, there is hope and help for those who find that their safety has been shattered. Crissy candidly shares what that night did, it changed her forever to listen to that episode. In any of the episodes that we will mention in this episode. Just scroll down in your podcast app and her episode is season two episode one. We moved on from there to Lindsey Tozer who candidly shared with us her trauma, and she talked a lot and we talked a lot about how the Body Keeps the Score with trauma. The Wednesday’s with Watson microphone was the very first place where Lindsay felt the freedom to share her story publicly.
She continued to share with me how this freedom has changed her. You can hear her story also season two episode two cause of accidental death and injury just by scrolling down. This clip from her episode is so powerful.
The dark January night
and 2001 That day it was as you would expect it to be in the middle of the winter in Indiana cold and the Midwest native was in charge of three small children who sat in the backseat of her car. They were just running an errand and getting ready for something important the next day at church. The Benner car hit a patch of black ice. It spun around 45 degree stop and only when a utility called demonstrated the laws of physics.
After that episode were Lindsay shared with us her story of accidental cause of death in injury. We began moving into even deeper stories of trauma and loss and the third drop of the year was a fellow Children’s Home alum and Marie Rivera. Let’s listen to this clip from her episode when she was at her friend’s house because something was just not right. She remembers when someone finally answered the phone. She remembers the distraught person giving her the news.
suddenly made an orphan. She didn’t see it like her brothers did. She remembers
my friend and little sister trauma survivor extraordinary Marie Rivera elbers remembers that day and everyone after it and bravely wants to share her story here, because Wednesday’s with Watson is the healing zone.
So that is a clip from Anne Marie’s episode who came on to talk about the story of the day that she became an orphan along with her three brothers, as both of her parents completed suicide following her episode, who was her brother, Angel, as he shared his story. Emery as we mentioned in the episode was at a friend’s but Angel actually witnessed this tragedy. A few weeks later, after recording this episode, angel sent me a text telling me that he was seeking help for all that he had ignored. And I couldn’t help but think of the lyric to the song that he picked for his episode. There was something so powerful, and the way that he reads this lyric, they don’t know that I go running home. They don’t know who picks me up. When no one is around. I dropped my sword, and I cry for just a little while. Because deep inside this armor, the wire is a child.
Then the very next episode we dropped healing from PTSD was a special crossover event with Shay and Michelle Watson, as well as a pastor in California whose name is Marcus Watson. But this episode highlighted Shea story of redemption and healing. His clip continues to give me chills. Shea was our first and our only guests with combat PTSD, as well as many other traumas that he experienced in his life, listening to the strength of his voice, and the power of his conviction is incredibly, incredibly inspiring. Here is the clip faith, Grace are suffering, we kind of experience a little bit of what Christ went through. Well, here’s something I don’t tell a lot of people I was laying in my bed sleeping, I was given a dream of Christ being crucified, and I felt so much pain. It was like it was almost like I was experienced the pain that Christ had enough to the point where I got out of bed sobbing, and saying, what I’ve been through is nothing. And when you look at my my story, and you look at my history, it’s not that I’ve been through nothing. But in comparison to the sin that God good Christ took on on that cross, I have been through nothing. And so when I get when I get to be told by my father, who’s done this for me, who put us on on the cross, that you know what, I’m bringing you back to this image, the same image of me. And I want you to live in this image, I want you to live in this victory. I want you to live in this royal priesthood, you are a holy nation. To me, you’re my child. Somewhere in this process, I really began to go to the mat with God. Somehow, quote, trauma survivor seemed to be my only identity and where all of my good feelings came from. And I had to reckon with this. Do I even want to get well? Or is it easier to not be? Well, the warm and fuzzies that I get from all the people? Is it easier to just stay stuck in my trauma? That episode was more for me. But this episode was a chance for me to remind you of the important stuff. The mission of this podcast, let’s listen into this prayer for you is that you would desire healing, because it is for all of us. And don’t forget Jesus wins in the end. And that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory that will be revealed in us.
Don’t forget that guys. Don’t forget that. Also, don’t forget that you are seeing known loved bird and valued
April’s childhood Awareness Month and I spent that entire month seeking out childish things in an attempt to capture the magic of my childhood. And if you want to go back and look at some of those funny things, they are on my Instagram highlights. But since the mission of this podcast is to educate the next episode featured licensed family therapist Erica Cooney. Erica helped us understand attachment styles and childhood as well as adverse childhood experiences. She also helps us understand the importance of early intervention. Let’s call our attachment styles are love map.
Erica Cuni 9:32
Our love maps are created by before the age of five more closer to four years old, and some are even saying it’s solidified by the age of two. But just know your primary caregivers interactions with you from the get go are extremely important in creating your perception of the world. It doesn’t mean you’re staying stuck in this if you had a insecure attachment you can heal you can find ways to navigate through this. So next up it was an honor to bring another therapy
Amy Watson 10:00
To the microphone to continue the discussion of childhood abuse since this was still an April childhood abuse awareness month. Jeremy Fox is a licensed EMDR therapist. Jeremy shares with us what extreme neglect does to the brains of children. Fox also discusses the off mis diagnosis of ADHD that is shrouded in trauma and is often a simple PTSD diagnosis versus an ADHD diagnosis. This episode is a must listen for parents, teachers, and anyone who works with or has children. Let’s listen to this Jeremy Fox talking about childhood neglect. And so extreme neglect can actually make children’s brains smaller, not trying to scare people here, because there are ways through that and as you can talk about with EMDR and changes in brain scans. There are certainly ways out of that. But lowered IQ cognitive delay is difficulty with inhibiting behavior. Okay, I was I was speaking with someone on other podcast earlier about ADHD and trauma mimicking each other so that inattentiveness and that scattered behavior is similar to both those diagnoses, but then some neglect can
Jeremy Fox 11:11
appear as ADHD symptoms as you just heard the behavioral inhibition part especially. So what we’re talking about when it comes to neglect is kind of dovetail with that attachment stuff. The lack of positive interaction from caregivers, okay. Now, obviously, physical neglect in terms of not receiving your essential needs is 100%. Related to that, we’re talking about that as well. There’s different types.
Amy Watson 11:42
Next brought to the microphone. A friend of mine, Marlena, who has a suicide survivor, I want you to hear her clip first before I continue.
If you have PTSD, at some point, your safety has been compromised.
Those words ringing in my ear, they reverb in my soul, and they help me understand the life I live as a PTSD patient.
She told me nobody ever asked, no one cared. They just threw a label on her because she wasn’t speaking. Instead of even asking or caring. They phoned in the responsibility for that day.
She kept telling me I just wanted someone ask. I just wanted someone to give me a hug.
She told me about the welts they found on her body. But that didn’t stop the nightmare in her home.
In my mind’s eye, I remember her telling me about hiding in a closet. Those words haunt me too.
So that was my friend Marlena. Like who I said as a childhood abuse survivor, a suicide survivor. She was one of the first people that
kind of proved to me that you could still be a childhood abuse survivor with two parents. The thing that haunted me the most and what you heard in that clip is that she just wanted somebody to ask, as she told us on that episode, PTSD happens when your safety or the safety of others or someone you love has been compromised. So next I brought to the microphone. My friend Rebecca millat, who did experience and watched a near death experience. This conversation was rich with aha moments and again highlighted the faithfulness of God. I think the question would become, would she become a widow?
The phone rang and she answered, he took a deep breath, and she panicked. Suddenly, she was back in 2013. And the middle of the night, she recalls I woke up and heard him struggling to breathe. Her 36 year old otherwise healthy husband struggled to fill his lungs with air. He described a heavy feeling in the middle of his chest, she recalled to me. I called 911, just like I saw them do in the movies. She then called family who had come watch her two young boys who were still sleeping. She told me she remember thinking it odd
that the ambulance left with only lights and sirens. She recalls arriving at the hospital where friends and family gathered and she received the news that her young unhealthy husband was in fact, having a heart attack. And it did not look promising. She recalls falling apart in the bathroom where she begged God to spare his life. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And so I wanted to educate you guys on some of PTSD friends, these disorders that coexist with PTSD. I brought another therapist to the microphone to do that Dr. Patrice berry got behind the microphone to help us with this understanding. We talk a lot about safety and the importance of addressing these co occurring disorders. And she even describes some
them. Let’s listen to this clip with Dr. Patrice Berry
co occurring mental disorders
Dr. Patrice Berry 15:07
the same way for everybody. And so that’s where somebody would talk with their practitioner about how it maybe came about. Because really, it’s how were you functioning before? And then how are you functioning now, and sometimes some of the things that people pick up, it helped them survive that event. And now that they are safe, the problem is that we’re still doing a lot of those behaviors, even though we’re safe now.
Amy Watson 15:36
So I thought that was really, really interesting from Dr. Berry talking about safety, again, that the lifespan of post traumatic stress, I wanted to continue to highlight healing. And so I brought Lindsay Tozer back to the microphone, since she shared her Her cause of accidental death and injury experience for the first time publicly earlier in the season. I wanted to know how she was doing now, this was months after the fact. And here is what she has to say to you guys. They who no matter what is always going to be there for you. If you’re not comfortable with how that feels. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, I am sorry.
But you are loved, and cared for and cherished. And, and you will always be and that that feeling is something that will always be with you for the rest of your life, no matter how hard you try and push it down. So not only is Lindsay talking about just working through things, but she is talking about the tremendous overwhelming love of God. After Lindsay’s update, I wanted to check in with Crissy she opened the season by telling us how having her drink drugged and escaping date rape shattered all she knew to be true. So I wanted to check on her. Could she accept the complex truth that God is both good, and also allows suffering?
Crissy Loughridge 16:59
He’s good. And what do I do with that?
The quote is, can I accept the more complex truth?
And the complex truth is, oh, we need to give credit to that. That is Becky Wade, let it be me. And it is just really powerful that that give us that quote again. could love it the character? Could he accept a more complex truth? Wow, that God is both good. And it goes on.
Amy Watson 17:31
Yeah, so chew on that one for a second guys. Next up, I wanted to provide a resource for parents who are raising children with PTSD for this abroad Troy McLaughlin to the mic, He is a fellow podcaster he was brutally honest and offers practical advice. For those who are parenting children with trauma, he offers great wisdom and encouragement, let’s listen to what he has to say.
Troy McLaughlin 17:54
Remember, that this may take a very long time, this may be a road, you may see glimpses of good, and then it goes back to the other way. Hang in there.
Get make sure the here’s the other thing. I don’t think we often do this.
When we’re walking through these things, or we’re talking to others about it. Everybody needs a therapist. For now. Now it may not be quote unquote professional therapy, but but it’s a community belonging.
And we need to bounce these things off because oftentimes, like they said, this thing is going on in their head, that may not be true.
Amy Watson 18:36
So you notice that Troy there hits two of the CS community and counseling. And I think if you were to listen to the whole episode, as you should scroll down and your app and you will see parenting PTSD, bad trauma, golf, and he will also talk about church. It had been on my heart to cover the loss of a child on the podcast. So I invited Randy Mortensen to the mind to tell us his story, and how he is turning to his pain of losing his child into tremendous purpose. Randy took a difficult road to healing. He tells us about his faith journey, his feeling of hopelessness, his episode highlights crazy hope. But as it wasn’t always that way for him. Let’s listen to what he says here.
Randy Mortensen 19:19
I thought I had faith but I didn’t know what I didn’t know from a faith standpoint. Sure, basically, and we can talk about that a little bit more in depth later. But it was it was just the utter hopelessness of how is my life going to have meaning going forward? Even that’s how dark it was. So that was that was an incredibly rich episode. And I strongly encourage you to go back and listen because we are not wired to lose our children and what a powerful story that Randy has. Next up by this time in the process, I had gotten plenty of shade for lack of a better word.
Amy Watson 20:00
Some listeners on my mission here. These are names that claimant messages throw, you’ve got a problem. I’ve got a Bible verse thrown at me, and not very much, but it did spur me to record a solo episode about weaponizing. The gospel. I shared with listeners how that affected me over the years and how the misunderstanding of one single Bible verse and the MIS teaching of one single Bible verse did more harm than good. Let’s take a listen.
Just ruled me. And I didn’t even understand that it was doing that. I have paid for this thought process in spades over the years, I kept putting my hand to that plow and not looking back not getting help. And so I couldn’t anymore. And that Fallout is well documented on this podcast, season one hospitals and courtrooms.
So in that same spirit, I also wanted to discuss spiritual abuse. I brought to the mic Tiffany countryman. For this episode, I picked the millennial for this episode because I wanted to highlight the stories like Tiffany’s are still happening and 2021, both weaponizing the gospel and the mistreatment of people pushes people away from the start of the story. I asked her some some hard, hard questions, her answers were hard to hear, listen to this, anybody in that church, come into your place, regardless of whether you feel like you were wrong or not by getting pregnant, you were hurting. You were poor. You’re being maligned at this point. But not only your by your baby daddy, but by people who listen to him, did a single soul sit you down and say, Hey, I love you. Let’s let us walk you through this. What can we do that a single soul do that?
Tiffany Countryman 21:45
Not one person, Amy, not one person in a church.
Amy Watson 21:49
Whoa, even hearing that, again, just makes me sad.
By this point in the year I became relatively introspective. And so the next episode chronicled a time when I can pinpoint where healing occurred. And it started by raising my stone of help. This episode was a moment for me and I wanted to share it with listeners listen to this clip, right cross and reminded me of the wooden cross where they killed my Jesus. He gave his life for me, so that I could have victories like I was having at that moment. On my way back, I realized I never picked up my Ebenezer after I took the picture. I fully expected the ocean to have a devoured it. And that would have kind of been perfect. Actually, a new song shuffled on my phone, this time, another lyric force more water from my eyes. So as I continued, I had this realization that at that moment, I was going down in flames by this point and the year. Part of that was a result of my all out Watson style of going into something and going into it hard as I have done with this podcast and everything that surrounds it. I got behind my microphone, in a microphone, actually, that would have me anybody that would offer a guest spot I would be on it. I wrote about all of my trauma and attempt to finish my book. I mentioned I mentored whoever DM to me, I helped clubhouse rooms that were heavy and, and triggering. And then I almost heard God say enough. If I never use any of your story, would you be okay with that. And so I recorded an episode called, these are my stories. These are my songs full on with music and my entire testimony. I told my full story publicly for the last time, at least for a while, it was time for me to remember that I mattered to I shared a little bit about how just at 19 years old, having to make a decision that I hope some of you never have to make, take a listen. She was in a coma. And I was in shock. But something deep inside of me, needed to be in that room with her. So I stayed all night with stories of how she failed to protect me and never chose me. I guess there was a part of me that wish that she would wake up and explain it all to me. But she didn’t. She was never going to wake up. And two months later, we sign those papers.
After publishing that episode, I realized I needed some more help. I needed some more support. Some in the Christian world have troubles with the Enneagram. And that’s okay, I respect that. My goal and starting that work in this series was to understand how God made me and doing that I began to simply pay attention to my own trauma and in my own body and paying attention I realized a lot about myself. My childhood trauma and the wounding messages that I received was still rolling me. I have said over and over again that knowledge is power and therefore I decided to spend time connecting, how we are made and what drives us by ways of our money.
motivations and our fears. Let’s listen into this clip as I introduce my experience with the Enneagram. more to learn, and my journey with PTSD. Today, I will share my experience with my Enneagram coach, including the jaw dropping moment that my trauma made sense. So after that episode, as I was just mentioning, I was honored that Karissa Harrison joined me as we held an in depth conversation about a gospel centered approach to the Enneagram, and how it can help us process trauma Karissa helps us understand why we think, feel and behave the way we do. What are our core motivations? What are our core fears? Let’s listen to this clip.
Karissa Harrison 25:48
The Enneagram is a Greek word that just stands for nine, the number nine and dry. And it really is at its simplest, a personality framework that helps us understand why we think and feel and behave the way that we do. And so the Enneagram is distinguished, the nine types are distinguished not by how we behave, not by our personality patterns, but by our internal motivations. What are the core motivations that are actually driving the way that we think and feel and behave? And this is what sets the Enneagram apart from disk or strengths finders or Myers Briggs and in my opinion, it’s what makes it that much more powerful. Because we’re not just treating the stuff on the surface, we’re getting to the root of what’s causing the stuff to happen. So after my own positive experience, as I continue to experience
Amy Watson 26:48
my understanding of how God made through the framework of the Enneagram, and why and how I process trauma, I wanted to provide interviews with each Enneagram type and pair it with trauma and loss. So first up was our Enneagram type one author, Becky Wade, Becky had just experienced a loss. And so we wanted to know how she processed that within the framework of how God made her. And so we asked her that question, but I love, love, love what she says here, let’s listen to part of her clip.
Becky Wade 27:19
I think what I’ve learned for myself in my own life is that I am most joyful, and most at peace.
closest to the heart of God when I am not viewing myself based on my performance,
Amy Watson 27:34
when she is not viewing herself based on her performance that was so powerful as is that interview. Next up I decided to represent the type twos, the helpers, you know, most would agree that I am pretty vulnerable that on this day I gave my microphone to Crissy to interview me. Earlier that day, I had experience for my first and only way too close to home COVID loss. You can hear it in my voice in this clip. This was by far the most vulnerable. I have been on the podcast, what happens when our core fears are actually realized.
I think that having realized that core fear at such a young age, being unwanted and unloved and being abandoned and harmed by those that brought me into this role. My mom, I’ve never up until about 10 years ago never knew anything different than that. It hurts a lot to know that, that my flesh and blood didn’t want me and then fast forward into my 20s my husband didn’t want me.
Katie Ganshert 28:38
Up next I asked Katie Ganshert author Katie Gansert to represent type three the achievers Katie’s episode is a rich conversation culminating in a deep seated need and an understanding of what type threes need. Let’s listen in. I think it’s so much so much for me is about wanting to bring value into a situation or a relationship because I feel like that’s how I’m seeing.
Amy Watson 29:07
So she understands that her value is just in being seen not again by performance is such a such a good episode. Next is a millennial who also has trauma to represent type fours. Rachel Odom brings so much value to the podcast proving to us that type fours are always enough and never too much, especially in the presence of trauma that this young lady brought it to the mic. Let’s listen to just a clip of her episode. When I think of it in that way, the terms defective and adequate emotionally fit off and the belief that there’s something inherently wrong with me. I can see how that would influence the way that I live and the way I relate to people. That’s that’s an amazing episode. You guys are not gonna want to miss that. So again to scroll down in your app. Next up was an
Another millennial Sophia Walsh, who is a thyroid cancer survivor, she represented our tight fives. This episode is full of information on how Sophia process her trauma within the framework of how God made her. And she was, as she tells us that she wishes, how she understood more about how God made her at the onset of her trauma. She helps us understand how we can do life with fives, especially when those fives have experienced trauma. Let’s listen to this clip.
Sophia Walsh 30:32
I talked for so long about this. Um, I think this I’m gonna use the spoon analogy too, because it’s just so good. Even though I, this is gonna sound selfish to an extent, but hear me out. Okay? Even though I have all 10 of my spoons, sometimes 10 are not enough for a day for me.
Amy Watson 30:53
So again, another good interview with our Enneagram type five and so we ended the year with Sophia Walsh. And the very first drop of 2022 will be our Enneagram type six and that will be Crissy Loughridge Now we’re gonna step out of order here a little bit, but it is important. October is both Breast Cancer Awareness Month, as well as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And so one Wednesday in October, we did a double drop. First up is Audrey Mabry, who brings fire to this episode. And she shares the story of redemption, beauty from literal ashes, because of an offense that gave her husband a life sentence and prison. She tells us if you want to look at the fruit, look at the roots. Audrey story has been covered on national platforms, and we were honored to have such hope and help. As she shared on this podcast. She talks about advocating differently and how we can continue to change the narrative. But listen to this clip that that we played before. The interview with Audrey was the type of man that constantly accused me of cheating on him. He was a controlling man. He was a jealous me, but he never hit me.
So you’re gonna want to go listen to that story. Trust me on that one. Following that episode, I had the honor of interviewing breast cancer survivor and one of my college buddies Tammy Williamson. Tammy brings tears hope and emphasizes our mission. Here she tells us the power of community and how it helped her in her in her journey with breast cancer, trauma and alleviates fears and so let’s listen to this clip from her. She told me that she thought the machine was broken. Or perhaps the technician was brand new, and just kind of learning her way. It was just after her 40th birthday. And the mom of six probably found the day spent at the doctor as a huge inconvenience annoyance. Her children ranging from ages 10 to 17 are no doubt at home, wondering where Mama was and what was for dinner.
Again, an episode that you’re going to want to go back and listen to and that is true of all the ones that I’ve shared with you here today and our 2021 recap. Finally though, we published our 50th episode, which happened to be also on my 50th birthday. For this episode, I asked five people from my five generations to come celebrate with me. This episode highlights everything I believe in the power of community and the presence of trauma, the importance of Church and the necessity of counseling. Crissy ends that podcast and one of the most powerful ways I’ve ever I’ve ever heard on any podcast anywhere. And so let’s listen to how she ended my Happy Birthday episode.
Crissy Loughridge 33:48
And for those out there thinking, I’m too broken.
He is more. His mercy is more His grace is more His love is more as healing as more his joy is more than the greatest sorrow. His justice is more he is more. And so again, if you can download the song, it’s kind of a fun thing to change the lyrics out whatever it is, our sins, they are many His mercy is more our hurts, they are many his love. It is more our pain. It is great. His His love is more. He’s just more and there’s never there’s never a day that goes by that I don’t recognize what we’ve been through in the past 1415 years easily.
Amy Watson 34:47
So that was Chrissy’s admonishment to us and she was what she was saying at the end of that clip is over the last 14 or 15 years and some of the stuff that we’ve walked easily at any point we could just say time
out, uncle, we’re done. But she talks about more how his mercy is more how his grace is more how his comfort is more. So I hope that you will receive that. Well guys, here we are December the 21st 2021 is when I’m recording this. And I just love to wish all of my peeps a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year, I speak over you the promises of the star of the story that promises of Jesus. And remember, like Chrissy said, he is more, I do hope that you enjoyed this 2021 recap, and maybe heard an episode that can help you or somebody you love. We will be back in two weeks, as I mentioned picking up on the Enneagram six, it has been my honor to create this content for you over the last 20 or so months. As I always say I will never ever, ever stop fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. As I mentioned, this has turned into a listener slash donor supported podcast, you will find the link to the Facebook fundraiser fundraiser that runs through December 31 2021. In the show notes, as well as that contact Amy which has our patreon link, it gives you the opportunity to either a one time gift or an ongoing gift that would help us and our goal here to continue to produce content, as well as provide pro bono counseling for those who can’t afford it. And all the things that we need to do to get the message of hope and help out to the people. So until next time, when I’m here with you and two weeks in the healing zone, it’d be 2022 Y’all, you’re still going to be seen and known and heard and loved and valued. Because guess what? You’re never been more loved than you are.
Unknown Speaker 36:39
Transcribed by https://otter.ai